Darkhold: Prologue by Ian L 11/28/11

Drawing by Ian

I started this story early in fifth grade. I abandoned it after writing a little and decided to not write anymore. Then later in the year I picked up where I left off and wrote some more that week. I again got bored with my story and moved on to other things. Sports, friends, and other stuff. I recently picked up again and wrote another couple pages. I will try to give a chapter a day if I get comments. If lots of people comment I will dust off some older short stories that I wrote in 4th grade and post them. Those are much shorter, but I will still have to post them in segments. I will try my best to edit both the short stories and Darkhold, but if you see mistakes please, talk to me if you can. So here goes nothing…

 

 

Prologue

Hecta turned to face me. His face was dark and he was frowning. I looked at him questioningly. “Why have you come here? We had an agreement,” he said in his annoyingly deep voice. I smirked at him arrogantly.

“An agreement you broke first,” I countered.

“Leave me in peace before I get angry and decide to destroy you,” he went on. Always so dramatic. He knew I was more powerful.

“If you are so fond of preaching our agreement then why did I have to deal with one particular thief trying to rob me of a very valuable artifact?” I was out of breath after I finished. Hecta’s eyes were still cold and hard.

“What does this have to do with me?” Hecta asked. I smirked at him again just because I was one of the only people that could.

“Well after some considerable torturing he uttered one word. That word was quite revealing. Can you guess what word he told me?” He shrugged.

“What was it?”

“Well, he told me your name, Hecta. I thought I told you, you never tell people your name. But you did and you will pay for it,” I said.

“Leave now,” Hecta said.

“Bite me,” I taunted and turned my back on him. Hecta gave an angry growl and lunged at me. Just before he hit me I willed myself into non-existence. I wished myself home. I disappeared.

8 thoughts on “Darkhold: Prologue by Ian L 11/28/11

  1. This did not surprise me as much as you might think. You have already proven that you are a great writer in other blogs, and you are showing me again how you used that talent in showing this story to publicity. Don’t take the first sentence I wrote as criticism. This is actually one of the best stories I have ever read by a child, and if you go on writing this story I personally think you should publish the story. It has a catchy title and a great beginning. From what I can tell, this contains some magic and dramatic parts, even in the first paragraphs. You should share this to the class, as both you and Josh have an amazing talent at writing. If I would be able to write like this, I would be amazed. I see you becoming an author as your occupation later on, and if you choose not to become an author, I wouldn’t mind. You have many, many other talents, such as sports. This is going to turn out well if you keep at it, and I wish you do keep writing this. I even like how you started out the beginning, telling me how you started this in FIFTH GRADE. Fifth grade. That just blew my mind. Sincerely, Gus L

  2. I really like how you drew the eyes on your picture. I think the story is great in how you make the reader want to know what the agreement is. I would love to read more!

  3. This is really interesting. You should post more. Great writing, too – clear and easy to understand. Where did you get the names?

  4. James- That was exactly what I was thinking. In my original draft I had said what the agreement was, but I decided to leave it out for suspense. And also if you need good names you should google fantasy name generator. I did not use this for my names, but it is a great resource for people who don’t know what do name their characters.
    Even if you don’t use the names you can make up names combining the names they have given you. Thanks for commenting!

  5. This was amazing. I can’t wait until I find out who Hekta is and what the agreement is what I wonder.

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